This article was originally published in the Washington Post.

Ah, December, when inboxes overflow with corporations defining your tastes and habits — your id, your ego, your very soul — from the past 12 months.

Strava reminds you that you didn’t meet your jogging goal for the year.

Peloton implies that you could have cycled more.

Food delivery apps present unfathomable statistics for the 2023 dining season. Unlike with takeout, this caloric imbalance is difficult to swallow.